dating, love, relationships

Love Like You’ve Been Hurt 

“You need to just get out there and love like you’ve never been hurt,” I said. I was having one of my famous pep talks with a friend who had sworn off dating. My friend, who I had known for years, furrowed her brow. “That’s not what you do, so why should I?” 

I paused. And then opened my mouth to spit out another platitude about how I’ve moved on and that love takes bravery. It didn’t sound sincere because it wasn’t. 

The truth is that when I did choose to step into love, I didn’t love like I’ve “never been hurt”. I loved in spite of it. With full knowledge that I was giving that person the power to hurt me, I made the choice, anyway. And I was better for it. 

Much like a job that requires 5 years of experience, mature love comes with more benefits. It isn’t eager to take out the trash and pick up coffee. It doesn’t leave you feeling unfulfilled when the day is over. Mature love comes with more responsibilities because you’re more responsible in how you enter into it. 

This isn’t the relationship you were happy to get into just because he called back. Love 2.0 is the result of a careful negotiation, with both parties knowing that this isn’t an act of desperation; they both made the decision together. 

So I don’t love like I’ve never been hurt. I choose to Love because I have- and I survived. 

Peace & Love,

Adri

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